Spring is one of my favorite seasons. The crocuses and daffodils are sneaking a peak in my garden only to be covered by a spring time snow. Oh, but those springtime snows are the best! They are the last gasp of winter; you know that they aren’t going to stay around for long. In Colorado, this is the only time of year you will see green, so yeah I love Spring!
Seasons of life are much the same as calendar seasons. They come whether we like it or not, bringing changes with them. Parenting, my career in life, has come with many seasons. Hmm, let’s see; the building your family years, is like springtime. The years of steady growing, school age and on, are like summer. I include the adolescent years in there because I love those years. Of course with so many children, we have been fluctuating between the seasons for some time now.
What about autumn? As much as I love spring, I love autumn more. Growing up in the northeast, this time of year was incredible. The colors are like no other place on this planet! The cool nights, Indian summers, harvest time, all aspects of autumn that I love. Autumn parenting. A time of greater transition. Children leaving home, going to college, truly becoming their own person. Embracing, (or not) the things you have taught them. As a parent reveling in their accomplishments, their talents and watching them fly. We have been hovering in this season for awhile now. As one would leave, we still had dance recitals, dramas, and soccer games to attend, minimizing the feelings of loss. Until now.
As Molly graduates, the last of “the originals” as we so fondly call the bio 4, I am facing wintertime. The long, cold, dark, days of winter, and I don’t like it one bit. The emotions have sideswiped me. Totally caught me off guard. But Karen, you might say, you still have three kids at home. Oh but how strange and uncomfortable that is. (That can be “mused” on another day.)My four kids have been my “career.” Yes I can say job well done, but not sure I’m ready to say I’m done with the job! Can’t we go back to when they were younger? When they wanted nothing more than to come home to tell me all about their day? To the times of crazy dancing, baking cookies, and reenacting our favorite movies? All four kids wanting to campout on Mom and Dad’s bedroom floor? How cliche, but where did those days go? I must allow myself to feel the grief of those days being in the past. It’s natural, normal. But I don’t like it at all.
However, moving forward, because time won’t stop, I will cherish every last soccer game despite freezing my tush off. I will revel in the academic awards night, Top 10 students dinner, and seeing my beautiful girl off to her last Prom. I’ll bring a whole box of tissues to graduation and might even cry through the grad party. No one will want to be around me in August as I drive her to MN and settle her into her dorm room at Bethel.
There are alot of feelings to feel, tears to shed over the next few months. I hope the feelings of winter will pass quickly. Winter isn’t all bad after all. A time of rest. A time to ponder things from days gone by and dream of days to come. Yes, there will be many days to come filled with many new and wonderful memories. Sigh.