When I became a parent I signed on for life. It meant that even though it might cause an interruption in my plans, or it might be an inconvenience, I was on the job pretty much 24/7.
These musings come from the heart of a person whom God made to feel things incredibly deep. How I wish I could watch the news, or read a newspaper, or for silliness sake drive by road kill and not feel anything. At the very least to say “Oh that’s sad. What’s for dinner?” This morning, I was “feeling” in a very deep way regarding a situation not uncommon to the world around us.
The feeling was one of deep anger. Anger at a generation of parents, adults, teachers, coaches who have been put in place over children to guide, direct, and influence their lives, yet place their own needs and agendas in a place of greater importance; not recognizing the consequences of those choices.
There is a young person whom I know that I would be proud to call my own. He is polite, considerate, caring, gentle, hardworking, successful student, and athlete. He’s in the top 15 of his class. His parents are divorced. Ok, that happens. But when a parent then goes on to place his new family above his first family, that is where my understanding fails to exist. Why wouldn’t you be at your child’s athletic events? Why wouldn’t you make it a priority to be at the event honoring their academic success as they near high school graduation? Are you feeling good about telling this “child” of yours that another child’s pitching practice is more important than this once in a life time opportunity to honor your son? Are you aware of the fact that your child is afraid to ask for help, feels like he is unworthy of an adults help, all because when he comes to you he is treated as an inconvenience. Did you know when you signed on to be a parent you signed on for LIFE!!!
A few days ago, I was chatting with another young woman who’s parents are divorcing This is not a rant against divorce, however we do need to acknowledge what this does to our kids. She was sharing how her dad is out of work, and even before losing his job he was drinking. Now he’s home all day and drinking. She is working two part time jobs in order to pay for her car insurance. Her dad tells her he needs money and is thinking she owes him some. Wow, that’s a responsible human being isn’t it. All I could say to her was “Adults. They can sure let you down can’t they?”
A young girl says she “hates” her mom. She plays her sport without a parent in the stands and even has to find a ride home after so as to not inconvenience her parents. What the heck?! I watched her beat herself up many a time as she missed a crucial play. Why wouldn’t she? She doesn’t think too highly of herself because no one has told her, shown her she is worthwhile. Her dad showed up for the last 5 mins of the game. Not aware of him, I asked if she needed a ride home. With a huge smile on her face that extended into her eyes, she said “No thanks. MY DAD is here!” 5 mins.
I’m not a perfect parent. Many a mistake has been made, many an angry word spoken, many opportunities missed because of being task oriented myself. However, looking at the big picture, I did a pretty good job. My bio four are the result. There is proof in the pudding.
Last night was the last soccer banquet. It’s done. No more soccer games, no more bball games, no more awards ceremonies. I don’t just see Molly as I say good bye to this season of life, although it is she I most immediately grieve the loss of, but of all 4. Kristin acting and singing in Fiddler on the Roof, Tara being the best team captain of her high school soccer team, Michael singing Magic Changes, playing his guitar in Grease, Molly scoring another goal. It hasn’t been an inconvenience. I signed on for life. On to the next season cause life isn’t over yet.