Parenting: Time to Do the Tough Stuff

Prom: Deserved or Not?

It’s prom season.

All Seniors and many Juniors go to prom. But is that a must? Is it a “for sure”?

What if your Junior’s grades have tanked? What if your Senior, suffering from “senioritis,” is all full of themselves and has been disrespectful toward teachers or you?

In moments like these, are you, the parent, going to succumb to the societal notion that this event is a deserved, once in a life time moment and you could never take it away from them?

No one deserves anything.

Tell me, what will happen, later in life, when they choose to not show up to work one day because there’s a “once in a lifetime event” going on and they have no vacation time? So they blow it off, because they believe they deserve it?!

If that’s what was allowed when when they were young, they just might get their sorry behinds fired.

Pardon my French.

As parents, we are called to do the absolute tough stuff so our kids will leave the nest, fly, and succeed.

That’s what parenting is all about.

This prom season, we, the Millers, are actually practicing what we preach. One of our daughters has not held up her end of the bargain. She isn’t doing her job of being a student well. She has made some poor choices. And …

But wait, Karen, wasn’t she nominated to prom court?!

Yep, but due to her choices, we have made a choice: She isn’t going. She’ll be sitting home with her mom and dad Friday night. Lucky her.

I believe it hurts me almost as much as it hurts her.

This is the tough stuff of parenting. It’s not easy, but must be done.

What tough stuff have you had to do lately? Is it hard to do the tough stuff? Why?

Comment below!

Twitter: @QBQMom Email:


About Karen G. Miller

Wife of John G. Miller, author of the QBQ! book. Mother of 7 (plus 4 in-laws) and "Grandma Nonnie" to 11! Beach Body coach! Co-author of "Raising Accountable Kids." Follower of Jesus Christ.
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1 Response to Parenting: Time to Do the Tough Stuff

  1. Sarah says:

    I think the prom (your own, senior prom) is special. I don’t think there is anything wrong with a parent choosing not to use prom prohibition as a disciplinary tactic.
    Further, any job that won’t make reasonable accomodations for an employee to attend a “once in a lifetime” event is one that isn’t worth having, and there is no shame in choosing the event (and getting a different job) if the occasion is important enough to someone to be worth the loss of the job. Our
    job as parents is to make sure they understand how to be responsible and to make their choices with forethought and intention, not to decide ahead of time which choice is best. (This is the tough stuff of parenting, too.)
    I am not a fan of dangling prom attendance in front of out kids’ faces in order to get them to do something, even if they ought to be doing it already. What will you do after prom? Take away graduation? (If their grades are bad enough they’ll do that to themselves, which frankly is more fitting.) I realize that a lot of times we back ourselves into a corner. (If you don’t x, then you can’t y.) Then we’re stuck making good on our word even if they don’t “x” even when we were so sure they would step up, but as a policy thought out ahead of time i don’t think witholding senior prom is beneficial.
    I agree with the underlying message that our job is to help our children grow into responsible adults, and that doing that job well is often very difficult.
    Also… what French? “Sorry behinds”?!? :o)
    Thank you.

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