Or there will be 7 very soon! Having babies came easy for John and me. We started young, married at 19 and 22, with our first arriving when we were 22 and 24. Four kids before I turned 30. We did have a one miscarriage in between #3 and 4. Deliveries were uneventful as far as we knew; certainly no major complications.
Fast forward a couple decades. Time for those kids to have kids! Didn’t go as smooth. Infertility. Physical issues that required surgeries to clear the path for healthy pregnancies. Discovery of gene issues that require minor medicinal treatments, but critical nonetheless for full-term babies. The moments that couples these days take great time, effort, and creativity in figuring out the perfect way to announce the pregnancy became not-so-exciting for us. “Great! Get back to us in 3-4-5 months and we’ll get excited!” Seems insensitive I know. But real. Each of my girls has had 1 miscarriage; a couple of them had more. So we’d not only deal with our pain, but theirs as well.
Jump ahead 5 more years …
Daughter Kristin goes in for induction of baby. Not uncommon. First baby delivered ok. Yay! Wait and see! The phone call comes saying baby Lindeen, Rebecca was born limp, not breathing and purple. 900 some miles away, all we could do is pray. A valuable lesson to learn early on with adult children. That is truly all you can do! Beautiful little Becca was placed on a cooling bed for several days, wires coming out of every part of her. Seeing that was so incredibly painful. She would shiver from the chill. No clothing on her, sedated and medicated to help with the discomforts. Waiting. Five days of life, no evidence of seizure behavior found! EEG’s and MRI’s came back normal. God, yes the Heavenly Father who created all things, the all powerful mighty one, had touched this baby girl and made her whole.
These moments in life have their way of leaving scars. No matter how they turn out, even when positive there are scars regardless. It wasn’t but 10 months later I was with my daughter Tara. Time for Baby G. to be born! Progressing well until heart rate starts to drop and nurses start scurrying around the room. How human I am! I go straight to fear. Straight to the pain of past circumstances. Forgetting WHO is in control and WHAT HE had done! Off to do a C-section because baby was not progressing downward. Once again…He….God…My Father….took care of everything. McKenna Beth is full of life, now almost 3!
Can’t say it was a happy day when oldest daughter Kristin was once again in need of an induction. I was fortunate to be there with her. But found myself on edge a good part of the time. Not able to lend much support to her as I was caught up in my own anxieties.The past was weighing heavy on my mind. Until I went to the window, looked up at the sky and apologized to God for my fears. I heard him say to me, “Have I not redeemed those situations? Have I not proven myself to you?” Conviction. Yes, He had. Even though Andrew was not in the best position, even after the midwife yelled, “I have a stuck shoulder!” Even though it took him a bit to cry … he did.
Surprise! The only son, who didn’t want to have kids for quite some time, unlike his sisters, Michael and his wife get pregnant without any difficulties! Surely this will not be like any other pregnancy thus far. Casey isn’t our child so probably won’t have issues! Wrong! Mike calls me from the hospital where Casey is being induced being a week late. Baby M. is not doing well, heart rate is dropping. C-section is the best option. I was driving at the time. Had to pull over, ask my 16-yr-old daughter to take my hand and pray as I was overwhelmed with, “REALLY??? AGAIN?!” Yet, Archie James was fine. Oh “me” of little faith!
“Do not be afraid for you have redeemed us. You call us by name. We are yours. When we pass thru the waters be with us. When passing thru rivers do not let the waters sweep over us. When walking thru fire do not let us be burned. You are our Lord and Savior.” Isaiah 43:1-2.
I truly struggle with difficulties from the past robbing me of joy in the moment. It takes the moment-by-moment disciplining of my thoughts. Bringing them in alignment with the things I know to be true. God loves me. He loves my kids and my kids’ kids. They are His before they are mine.
And now, just days ago, I sat with with my two pregnant daughters (Tara and Molly) both due in May sitting before me, comparing bellies, sharing the discomforts of the last month, and chuckling with each other. I just smiled. I’m not going to let the joy of this moment and time be snatched away! It’s time to take every thought captive and remember God is good, all the time!